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Mondayitis strikes again
A few weekend tips on not wiping yourself out totally. Monday as always is just around the bend.

Keeping a healthy body and mind, can be quite a difficult feat when you spend the majority of your time in London's dirty, underground clubs.
You start off on Monday, silently vowing to have a few weeks off from the clubbing scene, because the weekend has well and truly taken its toll on you.

Your friends try to persuade you the best way they know how.

'Lightweight!'

'Pussy!'

'Boring Old Git!'

But you shake off the insult, the painful memories of Monday are still etched in your mind. However sooner or later, you start contemplating the weekend. It can take the smallest thing to trigger that need inside of you that screams, 'It's party time!'

You might be clicking through myspace and you just so happen to come across 'that' song that you danced so hard to last week that you looked like Speedy Gonzales on pills. Or maybe you decide to just 'pop into' the club for a couple of hours and a bit of a dance but ended up on a bender.

Temptation is never far.

Before you know it, you're back in the club. Your body is slowly reaching shutdown mode, your smoking your 3rd packet of menthols which you don't even like and some random has decided to pour his heart out to you and won't go away. Just one questions you ask yourself; why?
Why?                                                          

Well, I can't really answer that, but I can answer, 'what now?'

Read on for some tips to help you get through the weekend the smart way.

1. Have a sidekick

Yes, that's sidekick. Not a 'partner in crime'. You need to choose someone with a lot more common sense than you have, someone that's not such a crazy party animal like yourself. A mate that is willing to drag you outside of the club when you're so drunk that you're arguing with club security and trying to chat up the furniture.

2. Leave everything at home

Your pennies, cigarettes, disco biscuits and cash cards. Just don't bring them out. This will ensure you can't drink too much, as your friends will only shout you so many drinks until they say it's your round. As for Smokes, you will be forced to scab them off randoms until some guy that's been asked five times already yells, 'Fuck off and buy your own!' which consequently scares you out of asking anyone else. And these days everyone is so skint that your only hopes of scoring mind altering fun for free, is scouring toilet seats for traces of cocaine. And if you're that desperate, than you need more help than this article can ever offer you.

3. Know when to leave

Look around. How is the music? What's the vibe like? Are there many people still around? Check out the state of your friends; always a good indication of whether you should stay or go. If they are draped over the lounges and slowly dropping off like flies then you already know the answer. If all else fails, just get up and walk over to the mirror and take a look at your reflection. You'll be so frightened by what you see, that you'll leave without saying goodbye.

4. Don't make too many plans

Don't plan to go to every party that is on that night. You will end up spending most of your time in cabs and arguing with door girls about whether or not your name is on the guest list. It's better to just choose a party or two to go to and stick with it. Don't worry about where everyone else is going to be, not everyone is going to congregate at the one party. Just enjoy where you are and don't try to do too much. You don't want the night to be a chore.

5. Take care of number one

You have to prepare your body for what it has to go through each weekend. The best way to do this is to eat healthy during the week. That means lots of fruit, veggies and carbs' with a low GI. Taking vitamins when you know you have a big one planned is also a good idea. Vitamin B and Royal jelly will make a massive difference to how you feel when it's all over.

Before a night out, try to get as much sleep as you can if you think you might be continuing the next day. It's not always realistic, but if you have the chance, try to go home before the after party for a shower and a nap. You will feel and look a whole lot fresher.

6. Vent

Yes that's right, vent. Get it all out. Write about how shit you feel. About how you're so tired come Monday morning that your eyes are stinging and you almost wish you would faint just so you could go home. Write about how your becoming a raving hypochondriac and your health is going down the drain. Jot down that your mouth feels like the Sahara desert and your healthy glowing skin is now a spotty mess. Rant about how you can't scrub the entry stamps off your wrist and life has never looked so bleak.

Then the next time you're out, bring your words of wisdom. Whenever you find yourself pondering over whether you should go home or party on, sit down and have a read. It will be enough to remind you exactly what last week was like and bundle you off to bed for sweet dreams instead of never ending nightmares the next day.

And finally, for those in denial, here is a checklist to figure out if your Mondays really are sucking the life out of you.

Signs that You need to take it easy

 1.You're late because you slept through your alarm and haven't had any time to take a shower

2.You haven't eaten in days and you're still coming down from your cocktail of chemicals you've consumed through out the weekend

3.You can't seem to get rid of the smell of smoke from your hair or clothes and let's face it; you look like complete and utter shit

4.Your only mission at work is no, not to get that spreadsheet done or make those important calls you saved for Monday, but just to stay awake!

5.You start thinking of ways to get out of work

6.Your eyelids are dropping, your head keeps lolling back and forth threatening to fall on the head of the chair with your mouth gaping wide open, exposing your cavity ridden teeth – the result of putting too many naughty things in your mouth and I'm not referring to bedroom talk

7.You've developed a slight tremor in your hands and you're starting to get weird looks

8.You finally leave the office for the day only to get on the tube and fall asleep, completely missing your stop and ending up miles away.

Aleksandra Pejcinovic